I killed myself today

It all shall stop when so I want
I want to cease the endless pit
Of sinking deep, so deep in shit
That I go through and can not quitm
But holy words are of no help
And any meds will never get
Me to the point where I forget
The ways and rules that portend no threat
But still I can't forget the past
And «That» myself that chose the torture
Over future, life with fortunem
Over all I've got in life
That seems to end as soon as knife
Should give me what I seek
So this is not so sick and bleak.
There is no past from now,
You can now be brave, and vow
Never to get back.